True Story: It might surprise you to learn that it took me about 5 years of pole to finally 'perform' aerial on a pole.
What? You Miss Selenia?!?!
Yep, me!
There I was, an instructor for 3 years, rocking my level 1 and 2 teaching.
Combo? I got you.
Cool transitions. I am the one!
Base work and spins? I could teach it.
The only problem was that if my student asked me to do an invert or a trick, I couldn’t do it and I felt TERRIBLE about it.
My students wanted to learn from me and I would have to pass them on to another instructor due to my own limitations. Bummer.
It was only during my 4th (yes! 4th!) year of teaching that I decided I wanted to go to level up to 3 and that meant I had to go back to class. There I was taking classes with women that I TAUGHT and they were doing better than me! Bah!
Pride and ego can be debilitating.
Sometimes I didn't want to go to class because I felt weak and stupid and the more support I received from students, "go Miss Selenia, you got this!' oddly had the opposite effect on me. Expectations felt so high... Fortunately I was able to push past those negative thoughts and get what I came to class for, experience.
Fast forward a bit and I had a number of great challenging tricks that I could teach but still... I wasn't performing them. There is a difference between knowing how to do something and then actually applying it to music and transition and feeling confident in the movement. I still struggle with it at times. I watch others live and breath upside down, high and free and not think twice about it. That just isn't me. To this day I still can not say I am 'comfortable' performing aerially but I do it every now and then when I must. LOL!
I am sharing this because we are all unique and no one's journey is the same. We just have to be okay with our own progress and love it from where we are now, today.
I would watch my students surpass me all the time and I would cheer them on and encourage them to grow past me but have a tinge of envy and ask myself why wasn't I challenging myself more. In fact, I still watch my students surpass me only now I know my purpose and I could not be prouder because I know I am doing my job and doing it well!
It's been some years now, but I am fully aware and accepting of my strengths and weaknesses. Accepting myself as I am today doesn't mean I don't continue my flexibility work, aerial flow and trying to nail that damn elusive pole handstand, often! It just means I am having fun. This is an essential part of doing this sport. You aren’t going to be the best at everything and we all have to come to terms with this at some point but if we aren't having fun, what is the point?
For example, I know that I live and breathe when it’s just me, my pole and my 8 inch stilettos. I’m most at home when I’m at the base. I love floor work. I love spins. I love my flow and that’s Miss Selenia all day! And it is all good!
This is a huge part of clarifying your identity as a dancer -- discovering what it is you love and really embracing it.
First, let me start by saying to my students; freestyle is
not an exact science. In fact it is the exact opposite. Let me share with you
what was going on inside my mind as I was getting prepared to dance this
freestyle... Watch the video.
First I was thinking... okay... breathe, stay in control,
keep your movements deliberate and slow. Don't rush! Then I heard the music and
I thought - good choice!
TIP#1:Choose the right music for you! Make sure
it resonates in your soul to make sure that it flows through you as you dance.
As I was walking, I was getting into character - what am I
going to do with this song? So I bent down, pulled the pin out of one of the
poles. I didn't know what I was planning on doing with the spin, but I thought
spin climb might be nice :) but not yet...
TIP#2: Take your time
and try to relax. No one is rushing you. Work the room a little bit. Moving
from one pole to another helps to clear the mind as well as give you a new
perspective. I like to walk around and think at the same time as I am building
the anticipation.
So I kept it moving, added in my sexy hip says and flow... listened
to the music, flirted with my clothing and sailed through it, on to the next
pole.
TIP#3: No need to
execute spins and inverts immediately out the gate. It is okay to gradually
flow into it. No one is board by you taking your time and feeling the music.
When I get there I was thinking, “now is a good time for a
spin. It needs to be strong and within your comfort zone” so I decide I am
going to do a Tanjureen Split, because it is a move I love and it looks hot. So
as I am in the middle of my Tanjureen aka Peter Pan, I decide to Pike and Body
Spiral instead. So I do…
TIP# 4: Commit to
your first thought of movement and resist the urge to change your mind at the
last second. Because this can leave lots of room for mistakes and regrets
later. Stay focused and follow through to maintain a clean and well executed
move.
Fortunately, my body spiral turned out decent, I still had
enough pole real estate to pull it off. But it could have been a lot stronger
had I had committed to the Body Spiral from the beginning.
So from here, I’m like… ok, just do a little floor work, you
love the shoulder roll so just go for that! So I do and when I come out of it
I’m like, jackpot! The pole is right within reach, I can easily slide myself up
into forearm stand, which is a move I have perfected so it should be a breeze…
OOPS!! Have I temporarily forgotten how to forearm stand?
WTF… FAIL… LMAO! I tried to recover. In
my mind I’m like oh shit, try it again! Ahhhhhhh!!! What is happening right
now… okay, just come down and keep the flow going. *add in funk face here… ;-\
TIP#5: When you are
in flow, things happen, unforeseen things. Some amazing, others not so much. In
any case, your face has to tell the audience, you meant to do it! Don’t give it
away that you think youscrewed up
always stay in character. Because 9 times out of 10 your audience won’t know or
care! It is a blip in the moment of time. I find mine mostly happen in the
beginning just until I shake the jitters off and really get into the flow.
So I am still a little shook by the simple flub, I want to
redeem myself… I’m like just climb up… I have no idea what I plan to do up
there so I pole sit and consider my options. I debated on doing a full layback,
but I said, naw… I do that often, do the Atta boy super slow and controlled,
because the last time I did it in freestyle I wasn’t pleased with it. So I go
for it... NAILED IT!! No spin, no uneven legs, strong. BOOM! Moving it along.
TIP#6: It is okay to
repeat moves and to stay in your comfort zone during a freestyle. You should
always have 2-5 solid go-to moves to ease you through a performance. The
creative part will come as you feel the music. Do not try moves you have just
started to learn during a freestyle, you do not want to appear awkward and
uncoordinated.
So from the Atta boy, I’m like let me try the Artemis to
Aerial Invert.
If you know me, then you know I do not perform (perform
being key) aerial moves. I know many moves, I just do not perform them but I am
working on changing that this year.
Needless to say I go for it, not too bad… I would have like
to have seen more straddle and less basic invert. But again, I didn’t commit to
straddle so I got a half n half. So from here, I get stuck in my Cat Pounce and
I can’t slide down easily, my boots are sticking. I hadn’t tried to pole dance
in them before…
TIP#7:Know your costume! Will your boobs fall
out, will you have butt cleavage, and will you be able to move freely? Can you breathe
in the outfit? Are your shoes secure? Will your boots stick (LOL) Are you
feeling sexy, confident and comfortable? Because if not, you need to reconsider
your outfit. You already have a lot on your mind in a performance. The last
thing you want to worry about are your clothes.
So I skirt down the pole making several jerk pole squeaks
all the way down… LOL! But oh well… I kind of figured it might happen. So I
straddle out for emphasis because squeak or not, these boots a freaking HOT!
Then there was the little floor work and to my surprise, I
was able to do a little knee slide to the pole which I wouldn’t have worked
without the boots or kneepads so… thank you boots!
Aaaaaand! Here is some booty cleavage for you that we
discussed. LOL! But I knew I would have it and for this performance I didn’t
mind it because it played into my music and character so I used it to my
advantage! Know yourself!
So I sashay over to the spin pole, I am still not sure what
I plan to do, and I take a few walks around to think it through. I was like, I
could spin climb, but that would be no surprise there. I said “You should
really try your straddle to archer that you have been working on” and I argue
in my head, “but it always seems to go too fast and you have to bail out of it…”
Just try it Selenia! So I do…
Control it, slight push, not too much… WHOA! Close to
straddle, not quite… Just basic invert, BASIC INVERT DAMIT! You got this!
My legs connected, I’m safe, and I feel secure… I missed my
Archer opportunity… no time to think it over, just release to Bat! I have never
Bat on spin pole but it felt great! I am
in good spin rotation so I have some fun with my arms allowing them to dance a
bit.
Meanwhile, I am not sure what to do next so I decide I would
double elbow grab and spin super fast for drama!! YES!! I’m hoping it looks as
good as it feels! Eh... I think it looked alright but not necessarily amazing… but
the spin is no doubt, crazy fast!!!
OMG, WTF, how do I stop this crazy thing! I can’t just
scream out in front of my students and start panicking. LOL. So I stay calm and
instantly decide, I can shoulder dismount… I’m going to Shoulder dismount, I
can do this… no time to mull it over, I just begin to slide into place.
Now mind you I am no aerial expert – this is not a go to
move of mine, and certainly not on spin pole. In fact I have only tried it on
static pole and never very successfully. So this is crazy for me.
TIP#8: Pole dancing
can be extremely dangerous if you do not respect the pole and know what you are
doing. Never try moves you have never done before at home, or at the studio
without support, guidance and spotting. And certainly do not take unnecessary
risks during a performance for the sake of entertainment. Always put your
health and safety first!
Meanwhile, against MY OWN better judgment I fold right into
the shoulder mount; I am in excellent positioning it feels good so I test the
waters by extending one leg. That was a good call! I immediately began to slow down;
I could safely extend the other leg and BAM! I’m 100% in it.
HOLY SHIT!!! I am shoulder mounted!! And Straddle to
dismount… Hold it, hold, hold… you are good! You are almost to the floor! And
Whew butt touches down! You nailed it! Now, Keep your cool and act like you do
this all day everyday!
Had I not been in performance mode I would have been running
around the room screaming, laughing and high fiving anyone that would high five
me back. Cause that is how AMAZEBALLS that was for me!
That could have been an epic FAIL! But it wasn’t!! I was so
freaking hyped I didn’t even recall what floor work I did to get to the next
pole. LOL!
But now I am feeling invincible! I can do anything!! So I’m
like what next?
I have been working on my Butterfly, so I think it is time
to take a chance… see what happens. I hype myself up, heck, you just Shoulder
dismounted! Do the damn Butterfly!
So I take a chance and go for it... It was okay… I would have
liked to see more confidence in my legs, I wasn’t certain and my arch could
have been better, but the dismount was way hot! I think I see a straddle
pattern forming for me… could be my signature thing. LOL! But the bottom line is I took a chance and tried
it!
Tip#9: It is good to
try moves that you have been practicing. They will only improve as you continue
to grow stronger. Video yourself when you get the chance so that you can look
back and see your improvement.
Tip #10: HAVE FUN!
Give yourself lots of wiggle room to make mistakes and do not be overly
critical of yourself. Freestyle is free! It has no rules; this isn’t a
choreographed piece you have been perfecting for months. This is an in the
moment movement that reserves the right to be imperfect. Sometimes your strongest
moves will fail, and moves you weren’t so secure in will surprise you. You
never know… Just ENJOY!!
Miss Selenia’s Interview with Luscious Maven LM: How
did you pole dancing?
SELENIA: I was engaged to be married and I had this idea that I
wanted to give my husband a private Bachelor Party. Something intimate, just
for him. I had playfully strip-teased for him before but for this I really
wanted to take it to a different level and choreograph a little something. I
mean really into character and perform. So I started taking some Burlesque
classes and that lead me to pole dancing.
LM: Why
do you love to pole dance?
SELENIA: I love the freedom of expression; I love the challenge,
not to mention the workout and the comradely with the other women. I love to
get in a sexy frame of mind and remind myself of my power. It is so easy to let
my self esteem get lost in the day to day, but pole dancing forces me to open
up and face my insecurities, look in the mirror and revisit everything I should
be loving about myself, especially those little details I fault myself for and
for that time I let it go and dance!
LM: Do
you have experience in other forms of dance?
SELENIA: Well, I have always loved to move to music. Dancing has
always been fun for me. I have never danced professionally but looking back
over the years I see that I have always been a part of some type of dance class.
When I was little I took a few dance classes like ballet and tap and I grew
into drill team and cheerleading. I actually attended Hollywood High’s
Performing Arts program where I acted in plays and sang and danced on stage in
special performances. And even still I enjoy hip-hop, ballroom and salsa so I
bring a lot to the table when it comes to movement that I enjoy incorporating
into my pole dance.
LM: What
is your first memory of Dance?
SELENIA: My mother was a Belly Dancer and she taught me my first
moves. I can remember clearly standing
on top of her feet hang on for dear life while she rolled her stomach and shook
her hips to some tribal rhythm. I could physically feel her energy and her warm
skin against my cheek as I held on tight crying out, “No mommy, No!” and she
would say “Hold on!” I don’t think I even had the words to describe what she
was doing but instinctively I think I knew she projected something sexy and forbidden
and I didn’t want her to share that side of her. She just thought that was the
silliest little thing and we would just laugh! Thank god my mother is
LM: Do
you think ALL women should try pole dancing?
SELENIA: Yes! Why not? All women should be open minded and try new
things at least once. To me, it isn’t so much the “pole”, or the “dancing” that
is the must try, it is the energy you give to yourself when you combine the two.
I believe there is something physically happening to your core, I would say it
is spiritual, a Dr. might say that chemically your body is releases endorphins;
someone else may describe it as just plain F-U-N! Whatever it is I would say
there is definitely something brand new happening inside you when you start
exploring your movement combined with the challenge of the pole and the inner
and outer strength you learn about yourself. You open up like a present you
give yourself.
LM: What you hope to share in your classes.
SELENIA: I believe it is important for women to give back to
themselves, to be a little selfish and I feel like pole dancing is an outlet
where it is all about you. So my goal is to bring out her alter ego, to set her
mind and body free and send her home feeling rejuvenated. It is about trust so
I create an environment where she feels safe and free to express herself without
judgment. If I have set the mood and given by example then my reward is seeing
the bulb bloom into a wild flower right before my eyes. It’s amazing!
LM: Who is your Alter Ego?
SELENIA: My Alter Ego’s name
is “Tanjureen”. Tanjureen Peach if she were to have a “full” name. She is
vibrant, like the color Orange,
bright and alive; full of energy and excitement. When you see her she has this
evident glow about her. Yet when her eyes are set on you she is soft and
sensual like a peach, deliberate and persuasive; full of mystery and desire and
extremely tasty! Watchoutnow!
LM: Who or What creatively inspires you?
SELENIA: I wouldn’t say that I am a very religious person but I
am spiritually in tune and very aware of my six senses and so I am constantly
amazed and inspired by the gifts of God. The rise and set of the sun, the
flutter of a ladybugs wings, the ocean breeze, the weight of water, the smell
of honeysuckle and fresh cut grass, the taste of strawberries and chocolate,
the sound of music and the way the instruments have the ability to take you on
an emotional roller coaster, like unconditional love, the touch of skin on
skin. Words… strung together in such a way that they make you wish they
belonged to you, and people who are fearless. When I allow myself to be fully
open I find inspiration all around me.
LM: Are
you fluent in any other languages?
SELENIA: I speak the language of love and laughter fluently J hahaha! I am also no
stranger to foul language and when absolutely necessary I sign language and use
Ebonics. I tease, but I have always wanted to learn Spanish and I love the sound
of the French and Italian languages, they are so beautiful.
LM: What
allows you to experience "being in the flow"?
SELENIA: I consciously give myself permission to be “on”. If I
have time to prepare then I will do something a little extra for myself for
motivation. Something that makes me feel good! It could be an outfit or some
sort of funky accessory, it could be making up my eyes or painting my lips but
no matter what it is, it always starts by rolling my shoulders back and
changing my attitude with my posture and instantly my confidence is ready to
flow.
LM:
Favorite Song for Pole Dancing:
SELENIA: I have quite the arsenal of favorites and I think it is
cruel and unusual punishment to ask for just one! J But since you did I am
partial to Beyonce’s “Speechless”. It is slow, sensual and has a great story
and gets me in the mood every single time. It reminds me of my husband and my
performance dance for him.
LM: Name a woman who inspires you?
SELENIA: I find women in
general fascinating and amazing, I know it is vague to say all women inspire me
on some level and they do; that really is the truth. But to be more specific I
am inspired by different women for different reasons at different times. I am
probably most inspired by Oprah just because every day she is giving me
something to think about. So intellectually and a lot of times spiritually and emotionally
she inspires me – just to aspire to be more and do more with this life I have
been given. But then physically I am inspired by Janet Jackson, just because I
relate to her body type and she knows how to turn up the sexy volume. I love to
sing so I am vocally inspired by many, but always by Teena Marie’s range and
musicality. I am inspired by words so Mya Angelou’s poetic genius gets me
going. Creatively I am really impressed with Lady GaGa right now, she just
rocks!
No… I will start from the beginning and the love I have for myself.
I was born in the 70’s when “Free Love” was still the expression of the
times.
My Mamma was the ultimate hippy. From the top of her Afro puffs, to her
false lashes and lined slant eyes, she was high on life or was that the herb…al
essence of a tightly rolled zig-zag of grass she held between her silver
iridescent painted lips. She was free. Free from her Double D bra that
threatened to hold her down, braless she was under a tight psychedelic tia-died
tee followed by her tight bell bottom jeans with no panties, all the way down to
the wooden platform wedges on her cocoa butter oiled feet. Peace and Love she
was…
So when I, my mother’s child was born I came out the womb raised in this
new age mantra of freedom of expression and awareness. Living under the
philosophy of unity and love, oneness with the universe and the high power,
meditation chakras and… out-of-body experiences man… or was that the contact
high of a smoke filled room and Janis Joplin playing on the stereo…
Take
another little piece of my heart now, baby!
Oh, oh, break it!
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know you got it if it makes you feel good…
Yeah… I feel good!
I am high on life and the occasional screaming orgasm. I know who I am, I
am my Mamma’s child. Free. I run through the sprinklers – naked and free. I
squat behind trees and pee. I laugh loud, and flirt freely. I masturbate at
will… might take a picture of it and text. I grab my friend’s asses and I kiss
them on the lips. I read filthy novels and I cuss like a mutha shut-yo-mouf!
So in the new millennium where strength and independence is the
expression of the time, I sing from my heart and I pole dance!
I am Woman!
From my long kinky hair, to my sultry eyes and bright smile, I pole dance!
Down to my matching bra and panties, under my Baby Phat tee, I pole dance! From
my manicured hands to my pedicured toes, platform heels and Goddess pose. I
pole dance!
Living under the philosophy of female empowerment, strength and
heightened awareness of self. Freedom from self judgment and manipulation,
giving permission to feel. No guilt, no shame only courage and heart. Being
100% present and having alter ego, out-of-body experiences man… or is that the
contact high of a pole filled room and Beyonce playing on my MP3 player…
Tonight
I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Whatever it is or whatever it was, I was born free, raised free and live
free with the understanding that I can do, be and achieve all that I set forth
in motion. I believe in living now and not later. No one limits me accept for
me. This is what I want to awaken in all women. This is what I believe Luscious
Maven’s do. We set women free! Spiritually, emotionally, physically thought the
movement of dance and the power of the pole!
Pole dancing is a new element of my life that I love and have a passion
for. It taps into my free spirit and takes me away from my 9-5, from stresses
of the day and my couch potato hubby and it centers me. It reminds me, if only
for a little while why I was put on this earth… to feel, to move, to express
and to create.
It has opened a door for me to teach what I love and to give what I already
know and understand to the next woman. That is what will be life changing for
me. To see the power of the pole change minds, change lives and open women up
to learn them selves, to understand who they are, and love every look, every inch
and every curve!
I am Woman
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
